Both little girls with Cerebral palsy, crossed eyes, and dimples.
Before we traveled to get Nina, we had asked our facilitator if Nina had developed any sibling-like relationships at the orphanage. Right away they sent us Oksana's picture and information. But Oksana is older than Ellie, and as we prayed, we did not feel peace bringing another child home that would be older than our oldest. It would not have been fair for Ellie.
At the orphanage I got to see Oksana many times when I visited Nina. A couple of times she would come and play with Nina and I. During one visit, I held Oksana for a long time. She desperately wanted a mommy and daddy. Someone that would call her their own.
Oksana made her way into my heart and I determined to do whatever I had to do in order to find her a family. I asked our translator to find out more about Oksana. They informed her that since she was already four years old, that they were going to transfer her to an institution soon. I asked them to wait, and I made them a promise, "I will find her a family." They agreed.
In the next week, after posting about her on my blog, there were several families that contacted me to ask about Oksana. But one family in particular was ready to move forward. As soon as I told Erin that they wanted to transfer Oksana to an institution, she knew God had answered their prayer, and that they would move forward with the adoption and commit to her.
What a joy to call my translator and say to her, "I found a family for Oksana! Please call the orphanage and let them know the Loraines are coming!"
Oksana will always have a special place in our hearts. She is Nina's best friend, she was her sister. So we rejoice with Oksana, and smile because this is the day when the orphan was lost, and the daughter was found! What a beautiful, heart filled day!
I am sooo happy for Oksana she seems like such a treasure---I have been following their blog!! What a cutie pie!!!
ReplyDeleteSunnie in NC
That's wonderful news for Oksana!
ReplyDeleteWhile I usually agree with your viewpoints, I must admit that I was a bit shocked by this: "But Oksana is older than Ellie, and as we prayed, we did not feel peace bringing another child home that would be older than our oldest."
That really surprised me! As an adoptive parent, I can't imagine turning away a child who needs love, a family and opportunity because of her age relative to another child's age! Especially considering what's at stake – a slow, painful death in an institution, where these children are subjected to abuse and neglect; they die unloved and unwanted.
You're such a wonderful, caring mother – it seems a shame that she didn't have an opportunity to join your family simply because it would have been unfair to Ellie. (I'd say it's even more unfair to Oksana – longing for a family while being left to die of neglect and heartbreak.)
I believe a child's age relative to her siblings is so irrelevant! In my opinion, it's the relationship that matters and I know that my children would have forgotten all about age as they got to know and love their new sister. I imagine Ellie as the type of child who would say "Let's bring her home!" if you explained what was at stake – or maybe my kiddos are unique in this way. Ellie would have always remained in the "big sister" role; she would have been the leadership role regardless of age. Ellie would always be the big sister due to the delays that all orphans experience due to their time in the orphanage/institution.
But I'm *so* glad to hear that she finally found a loving family! That's wonderful news. I guess in the end, that's all that matters. :-)
-Truewell
Dear Truewell,
ReplyDeleteEvery family is different, and what God leads you to do might be different from what He led us to do. Oksana was always supposed to be a part of the Loraine family. And they were committed to her even while we were in Ukraine and we could have "changed" our minds.
How wonderful that in your family your children are not affected by birth order and integrating new siblings. It is a wonderful blessing.
What God calls one family to do, is not what He calls another family to do. I cannot claim to know what is right for your family, but I do know what was the right decision for us.
Good for you, Ellen, for taking the high road here. : )
ReplyDeleteOh that's so wonderful! Do the Loraines live near you? Will the girls ever be able to see each other? We all move away from friends when we are little but it would be pretty amazing if they lived close!
ReplyDelete