Last week I had a hard time hitting the "publish" button when I shared about why I did not write a review about last year. Talking about church is difficult, and finally sharing about my struggle with anxiety issues felt extremely vulnerable. You know, since I should have it all together being a pastor's wife and all. But in all honesty, I would rather do ministry from a place of brokenness, where I am real, and where what I have to offer is what God has done in my heart and my life.
And it also feels so freeing! yet now I am beginning to question myself, "Why do I have this need to do life in public." Maybe it is because our lives are already public and open to criticism from leading a church. But I also think I feel compelled to do so for the same reason I write. Because I am broken, and because I believe in community, and because I do believe that my story can connect with your story.
I also did not expect the outpouring of love and encouragement from comments here to emails and facebook messages. Thank you, thank you so very much for your words and for taking the time to reach out, I appreciate it so much.
Life is such a journey, for all of us.
I am learning about taking care of myself. I am learning about trusting God, and that He has us here for a reason. Although it is hard, it is also a good place to be.
I am also learning (once again) that when I open up about my own struggles, I allow other people to do the same, and maybe we can encourage and uplift one another. We remind each other that we are not alone.
So being honest and open is hard...but it is also good.