It has been a long time since I updated, so I will try to remember what has happened in the last month that is worth sharing.
A month ago I was invited to speak at a local MOPS group about Nichole. I was so excited to go and share how beautiful life is with a child that has a disability. I wanted to talk about the "real" feelings I experienced, as well as the beautiful road we travel, and how the Lord led us to that discovery. I wanted to share my heart towards Nichole and the beautiful world she has opened up for us.
One thing I know, is that the Lord has a plan, and His plan for our lives include Nichole. I also know, that Nichole was sent to us to touch our lives, and the lives of her family and those around her.
I was excited, but I was also nervous. I was for the first time going to share with a group of women the really ugly parts of my heart during those first couple of weeks. But I was also going to share the powerful love of God that has overtaken me as I chose to love this small, precious baby. And I was going to share how this road is the sweetest, most wonderful road I have traveled.
My friend Melinda came with me. My friend Kim had invited me to speak. It was wonderful to have those familiar faces. I cried a lot, after all, Nichole was only six months old, and this journey is still fresh. I was honest and open, and I prayed and prayed that the Lord would use the words that came out of my mouth, and that Nichole and our family would not simply be a "story."
When I was done, the Lord continued to move. Through tears a mom shared that her son also had a disability. She confessed that she had been carrying guilt around for the feelings she had had towards her son, but now, she could say she had felt the same way, and know that it was okay, and that God had forgiven her. Another mom shared she had never loved her sister who had a disability, but from that day on, she would chose to love her. Two other women talked to me after we met and they shared their stories. Their children are 'typical,' but their little ones in fact, belong to the Lord, and it is an honor that He had chosen them to be their mother.
Nichole is seven months now. Somehow, she inspires love in people. Somehow, her smile seems to splash you with rays of love from God. Her life has already changed the lives of so many people. Most of all, my own.