One of my kids has Down syndrome, and right now we don't have clear and fluent speech. If anything happened on the school bus, she would not be able to tell me. I am a stay at home mom, so there is no reason why I cannot transport my children to school.
And did you know that sometimes kids have to ride the bus for long periods of time? It takes me only minutes to pick up my kids, if they rode the school bus, they could be riding the bus for up to 45 minutes - depending on how many kids need to be dropped off and the route the bus takes - and I am just not a fan of that option either.
I have gotten acquainted with the bus driver and aide from my girls' school. They are really nice, and the aide seems wonderful. She often jokes with me, "When will you send Nichole in the bus?" My reply - with a smile - is "Never!" And most of the time she adds, "I don't blame you."
A teenager with Down syndrome was left in a school bus for hours. Her grandmother received a call from the school 5 hours after her granddaughter had gotten on the bus. She was then found on the bus, alone. How does that happen?
A young girl riding the bus was sexually assaulted. She was sitting only 2 rows behind the driver, who never intervened. Reviewing the tapes the attack lasted for about 20 minutes, the bus driver ignored what was happening. What the tapes revealed was disturbing.
In Florida, a high school student stood up for a special education student who was being bullied every day in the school bus. How did the school respond? They banned the girl who stood up for what was right from riding the bus!
And there are many more stories like this one. Stories where kids are tied down, blindfolded, or hit. All done to the most vulnerable kids. People abusing their power and strength. It is sickening.
So no, my kids with special needs will never ride the school bus for as long as I can transport them. I am not taking any risks.
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Hi Ellen! ~ I so support your choice to drive your girls to school! Sadly, the places that children are supposed to be safe, are not. And, while some may think it's silly, why even take a chance? Although I had no special needs as a child, or at least any "visible" ones, I was a very fragile little girl. And, boy do other kids pick up on that! I rode a school bus during my 4th grade year and was bullied the entire school year. Everyone watched, including the driver, but NOT one person ever intervened. I got off of the bus every afternoon in tears. That is, until my grandfather threatened to "whip me with a belt", if I cried again. And, so I didn't. I held in the terror and the pain. And, instead I cried myself to sleep every night. I never forgot the names I was called. So much shame.
ReplyDeleteHow I wish I could protect every child from being Bullied! It's one subject that always leaves me in tears. I believe you are doing THE best thing for your children. ~ Jo
Oh Jo it breaks my heart you had to go through that. What a traumatic thing for a kid to have to go through...alone. One thing that was said to me once when Nichole was born and I expressed sadness over her being picked on, was "at least she won't know." Which is NOT true! people with Down syndrome have feelings and they know so well when someone is being mean, and they cry too.
DeleteAs a parent, my job is to protect my kids, and to be an advocate for them. My comforts are not above their needs. I am so sorry your grandpa was not caring and compassionate and held you when you cried instead, or talked to the school! And what a disappointment of that bus driver who allowed that to happen all year long.
Such a broken system. Such a broken world. I'm right there with you .
ReplyDeleteOur school district does not bus kids, only kids with special needs. If my girls got to ride the bus with their big sister, I might feel a little bit better. Still, I am not sure I want any of my girls riding the bus.
DeleteLarkin has been riding the bus for years without incident. Her drivers and aides have been amazing wonderful people that have become friends. I have their cell phones numbers, they stop by in the summer, they text me randomly asking how Larkin is. They know my other children and they watch out for Larkin as if she were their own. Lucky? maybe. Independence and friendships have been born from it BUT she is only on the bus for about 20 minutes ~ any longer and I wouldn't do it.
ReplyDeleteI think you do have a pretty unique relationship with the drivers and aides! They have become your friends in a way and I would not mind if Nichole rode a bus with a friend. And I do think there are some wonderful people (I really do like the ones that come to Nichole's school and the aide just has a special heart for kids with down syndrome, I never got to ask her why). Unfortunately, I have not heard many things about the special education bus system here, and that makes me nervous, especially since Nichole cannot talk. Nina could tell me, but Nichole?
DeleteMy good friend also has her daughter ride the bus, and she has not had any bad experiences either.
For me it boils down to the fact that I stay home to be available for my girls, and there are enough stories out there to scare me (although there are some like yours).
Being the one that takes Nichole to school and picks her up has actually helped create a great relationship with teachers, we have great communication and I love them.
But thanks for the perspective, because I do think it is important to point out the other side of the coin. There are also some wonderful people taking care of our kids, and they make something as simple as riding the bus be a great learning experience of independence and learning.
Oh, this is so heartbreaking and sobering. I am privileged to be able to homeschool, but it just breaks my heart to see some of these tiny children walking all alone to catch a bus, and know they ride long. My years of riding the school bus are some of the worst, lonely, horrible years of my life I tell me kids all the time -- if I didn't homeschool you - you STILL would NEVER ride the bus!
ReplyDeleteMichele, I think you are right, and no kid is exempt from having a hard time riding the bus. In our district only kids in special ed get bused, and a few that have to pay for the bus. Even if my kids were bused, I would pass.
DeleteThis is exactly why I refuse to let my son ride the bus. He started preschool in May and the teachers have already asked me twice if he would be riding the bus. I have emphatically stated no, he won't be. He too has Down syndrome and he is non-verbal, so if something did happen on the bus, he would never be able to tell me about it. I couldn't live with myself if I found out after the fact that someone was hurting my child. I too am a stay at home mom and would much rather spend my time taking him to where he needs to go than doing much else. I also like being able to interact with the teachers and find out about his day. I want those teachers to know me and know that I will always be around and be his advocate.
ReplyDeleteSteph, I would not trade the relationships with the teachers even as I waited with them and the other kids for the bus to come. We had open communication all year long and I was sad the year had to end. They were wonderful! Being in the school has been a great experience.
DeleteI have also been fortunate to have had great experiences with the bus so far. My son is non verbal at this point as well. My son can not tell me what happened at school either, and he is there for a longer period of time then he is on the bus. Its a tough situation, we all want to protect our children, and make sure they are safe, I just don't feel like the bus is the only place bad things can happen.
ReplyDelete