When Kids With Special Needs Wander (Elope) {a guest post by Staci Conrad}

Last week I wrote about conducting a stakeout outside my daughter's school because I was terrified of her bolting during recces. If you didn't get to read that post, please do so, I did my best attempt at being funny in light of a real concern we have for our little eloper.

My friend Staci responded by sending me some links for me to look at in case some of those worked for us. I was so impressed with all the information she had, I asked her to write a blog post, and she did!

So let;s welcome Staci and the advice and resources she has for any parent that has a kid with special needs that wanders (or a typical kid that struggles with this too!)

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Wandering…eloping…these words strike fear in the core of many special needs parents.  I have tried to find some stats to share with you, but it seems that no one collects this data!? Most sites just say that “TOO MANY” children with disabilities wander off each year and many of them aren’t found in time.

Why do kids wander?  Some get distracted and some just NEED to explore.  Many are impulsive and have no understanding of consequences.  That is the case for my precious wanderer.  

The International Classification of Diseases, Ninth Revision, Clinical Modification (ICD-9-CM) has added a code for wandering that was effective October 1, 2011.  It is designed to promote better data collection and understanding of wandering, and to prompt important discussions about safety among healthcare providers, caregivers, and the person with a disability to the fullest extent possible.  If your child is a wanderer, please talk to your provider and have this code added to your child’s official diagnoses. 

There are several safety devices available to help keep track of your loved one.  Even though you watch them like a hawk, they are so sneaky!  Everyone has to blink sometimes and that’s all it takes, especially at crowded events. 

Mine likes to take off at night time.  I have an alarm on her bedroom door and window.  I also have STOP signs on each door that leads outside.  I am going to add another lock to the back door, as she recently got out at 4AM.  There are lots of printable resources at: http://nationalautismassociation.org/docs/BigRedSafetyToolkit.pdf. 

For those interested in what technology has to offer, I have compiled the following list of resources that vary considerably in price.  Many of these are still not financially feasible for most special needs families. Although it might be possible to get state waivers or family support funding to help alleviate the cost.  (I could not reach our case worker to confirm or deny.)  These are only a sample of what is out there!  Be sure to look around to see what might fit your family the best.  

Adiant Solutions
Adiant Solutions is revolutionizing the GPS industry by providing solutions that transform lives. You are in control… you decide how to better manage "what matters most". Whether you are looking for tracking devices that locate a wanderer with dementia, a child with autism who is eloping, a low-level criminal, your fleet or cargo, or even a teen driver, we have the answer with our easy-to-use, customizable technology. Adiant's products ensure that people and property are where they belong…..and when. The devices are easy to use and can be managed from any computer or smart phone with Adiant's easy-to-use LocationNow Software.
www.adiant-solutions.com

Care Trak
The Original Law Enforcement Rescue Program that electronically tracks people with Alzheimer's who wander and special needs kids. Sheriffs, Police, Fire Departments, SAR Teams, etc. use Care Trak to quickly locate at risk individuals.
www.caretrak.com

EmFinders
The Emergency Locator Device "EmSeeQ" helps rapidly locate and recover your loved ones via the 9-1-1 cellular network.
www.emfinders.com

EZ100 Personal Emergency Notifier and GPS Tracker
The EZ-100 from EYEZ gives families of wandering special needs children added peace of mind and the confidence to engage in activities and adventures with the whole family.
www-eye-zon.com

LifePROTEKT
LifePROTEKT is dedicated to providing care givers, individuals and organizations with the most superior, innovative personal location based GPS technologies available while providing a network of support for those who care for special needs individuals. We want to give back to those communities who rely on our technology to assist them in safeguarding their loved ones.
www.lifeprotekt.com

LoJack SafetyNet
Personal locator bracelets for individuals with autism with a tendency to wander. After contacting authorities when your loved one goes missing, law enforcement and public safety officials use LoJack Search and Rescue Receivers to track the radio signal being emitted from the Personal Locator Bracelet on your loved one's wrist or ankle.
www.lojack.com/safetynet

Loved One Locator from Mobile Health Technologies LLC
Mobile Health Technologies provides the ultimate solution for Mobile Personal Safety - Anytime, Anywhere. ASD children at risk for bolting should not be without our products! Our service combines on-demand GPS location, automatic alerts when a user leaves a pre-defined "safe zone", and Automatic Fall Detection. Our devices also feature 2-way voice, and 24/7 monitoring by EMTs.
www.lovedonelocator.com

Please Find My Kid 
What do you do when a loved one suddenly disappears? If your loved one were using SecuraPal or LifeTrac, you could simply go to a secure web interface and find them on a map. With SecuraPal and LifeTrac you get peace of mind and your loved one gets to keep the independence they deserve and desire.
www.pleasefindmykid.com

Project Lifesaver International
Project Lifesaver International helps provide rapid response to save lives and reduce potential for serious injury for adults and children who wander due to Alzheimer’s, autism, Down syndrome, dementia and other related cognitive conditions. Project Lifesaver provides equipment, training, certification and support to law enforcement, public safety organizations and community groups throughout the country and nation.
www.projectlifesaver.org

I have just one final tip for special needs families with wanderers today.  Please let your neighbors know that you have a wanderer.  Just a couple of other families on your block that know to watch out for your child can be a huge help!  

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Staci is a follower of Christ, single-momma to 2 amazing adopted girls with special needs, and foster mom to many. Staci blogs at Our Different Reality you can also follow her on twitter @stacianne

Becoming Whole: A Sibling's Story

Editor's Note: This is a guest post from Caroline McGraw, featuring an excerpt from her book, Love's Subversive Stance: Ground Yourself and Grow in Relationship.

When I was a little girl, I don’t remember having a firm concept of God, specifically. Yet I do remember having a very clear idea of what heaven would be like. I believed that heaven would be just this: a place where I could talk freely with my brother Willie.

It would be a place without the limits of autism on his part or lack of knowledge on mine, a place where I could ask him a question and receive a complete answer. I remember wanting to ask him about the details of our life; I wanted to know if Cheerios were really his favorite cereal or if he ate them simply because that’s what Mom bought. I wanted then what I want now: a window into his mind and heart.

Yet maybe, just maybe, I can only see in part because to see fully would be too much beauty to bear.

 

For me, heeding this wisdom means that, even as I hope for heaven, I look for those sudden windows into my brother’s mind and heart now.

I remember a time one such ‘window’ opened: during the long-ago era when my brother was obsessed with Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. He had (still has) all seven stuffed dwarves, and he loved to line them up. He referred to himself as ‘Grumpy’ or ‘Happy’ depending on his mood. I realize now that the film was probably an excellent way for him to learn about identifying emotion, since each dwarf is typecast and consistent in facial expression throughout the story.

One day, my parents asked him, “Willie, if you’re Happy, who is Mommy?” For reasons inexplicable, Willie replied, “Mommy is Bashful!” Mommy is not bashful. However, Bashful is a thoughtful, kind dwarf, so perhaps these qualities were behind his choice.

My mom then asked, “And who is Daddy?” Willie said, “Daddy is Doc!” This choice seems a bit more logical. My father wears glasses and has a calm, direct way of expressing himself. He has a quirky sense of humor, and he’s a natural leader.

Finally, my mom asked, “And who is your sister Caroline?” With no hesitation, Willie said, “Caroline is Snow White!”

So there you have it. To my brother, I am a Disney princess. He may not be able to say things like, “Caroline, I look up to you,” or, “Caroline, I’m glad you’re my sister,” but he can cast me in a starring role in the movie of his mind.

I may not be able to see all I’d like to see of my brother’s mind and heart, but what I can see is astonishing. He’s creative, and hilarious, and generous with his casting. 

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Caroline McGraw is a would-be childhood paleontologist who digs for treasure in people with disabilities, and empowers caregivers to do the same. Her free digital book, Your Creed of Care:  How to Dig for Treasure in People (Without Getting Buried Alive) is available at A Wish Come Clear.