Five Tips to Help You Prepare for an IEP

It is no secret that one of the biggest “woes” for parent’s of kids with special needs comes yearly in the form of an IEP (Individualized Education Plan). Often times, parents walk into an IEP meeting as if walking into a battle in which they are outnumbered. Parents vs. School (teachers, therapists, support staff, etc.) and the child’s future is in the hands of the winning party.

The end of the school year often marks a time where IEP’s are being drafted for the 2012-13 school year.

I want to share with you 5 simple tips that can help you as you prepare for your child’s IEP meeting.

    1. Make a list of goals you have for your child.

Ask yourself: “What do I hope my child will accomplish in the coming school year?”

Break it down into the different areas where your child will be receiving extra support, therapy, or special education modifications.

Remember: IEP goals are for school settings only. What does your child need in order to excel in an academic setting? I would love for Nichole to learn how to ride a tricycle, however, riding a tricycle is not necessary for academic achievement. Building leg strength and coordination, on the other hand, is important as children participate in Physical Education. Riding a tricycle might just be a great way to get her to achieve those goals.

Here are some examples I came up with before the IEP:

Speech: Nichole will be able to spontaneously use 3 word sentences.

Speech: Nichole will respond to “wh” questions: what, where, which, who

Fine motor: Nichole will independently cut a 6 inch wide piece of paper using adaptive scissors.

Fine motor: Nichole will trace her name with capital letters.

Gross motor: Nichole will climb safely on the playground equipment.

Gross motor: Nichole will demonstrate proper gait when running.

Social/emotional: Nichole will engage in dramatic play with a peer.

Social/ emotional: Nichole will take turns.

Academic: Nichole will rote count to 10 consistently.

Academic: Nichole will identify “on” “under” “besides” consistently.

The more specific you can be with your goals, the better!

    2.  Ask for a copy of your child’s IEP draft before the IEP meeting.

One of the reasons you might want the copy before hand is to deal with the emotional aspect of an IEP on your own, at home. I know how overwhelming it can be to read tests results and have your child’s delays “packaged” together in a document. As we do life with our kids day to day, we do not deal with all of their delays at once. It really doesn’t matter that your child is not able to identify letters when they have finally mastered using a fork at the dinner table and you are over the moon with this new accomplishment. But with an IEP, every single area where your child struggles is documented and this can be difficult. It is okay to cry. Deal with those emotions so that when you are meeting with the team, you can put those aside and remember that your child does have great potential. The goal of the IEP meeting is to make sure there is a plan set in motion so that your child’s potential is achieved, so keep that in mind.

The IEP will have a list of goals from the teachers, therapists, and other support staff that might work with your kid.  Remember the list of goals you came up with for your child? This is where you get to compare the goals. Were some of them the same? Are some of them confusing to you? Is there anything  you think is important and should be added? Make sure to bring a list of the goals you want to see added, as well as questions you have concerning the “why” or “how” of certain goals listed in the IEP.

Remember, parents are team members in the IEP meeting. Do your part and be prepared!

    3. Bring food.

Yes, I did just say to bring food. Why? Because food breaks an unspoken barrier, it says, “I want to be friendly, I don’t want to fight and I am thankful you are here.” Bring paper plates or napkins too.

The last few weeks I have seen one of the special education teachers stay for IEP meetings after school almost every day. She has kids at home and it means she is not making it back to her family until late. Yes, it is part of her job, but she is also a wife and a mom. Bringing some brownies, donuts, cheese and crackers, or other snacks says, “I appreciate the time you have taken to be here for my child.” It speaks volumes when you do something to show appreciation for someone’s time. 

Gifts is one of my love languages, if I could fit it in my budget, I would have taken orders from all of them to Starbucks, no kidding! Instead, I brought granola bars and cheese and crackers. Granola bars had chocolate chips in them, we were mostly women, chocolate is known to sometimes brighten a woman’s day. Enough said.

  

    4. Know the law.

You want to be friendly, but you are your child’s advocate.

“Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves,
    for the rights of all who are destitute.
Speak up and judge fairly;
    defend the rights of the poor and needy.”

Proverbs 31:8-9

A woman I trust and admire gave me this verse as I asked her questions about the IEP process. She is the mother of an adult child now, and was reminding me that yes, you want to be nice, but you also have a responsibility to be an advocate for your child! 

Bring food, be friendly, but when it is time to speak up, you speak up. In order to do that, it is important that you are familiar with the special education laws!

Here are some great resources for you.

Wright’s Law: This is a website dedicated to special education law and the law surrounding IEP’s. 

Wright’s Law: From Emotions to Advocacy:the Special Education Survival Guide: This is one of the most valuable books you will read if your child has an IEP. It details and explains the law, your rights, your child’s rights, and what the school can or cannot do. Seriously, get this book! I in no way benefit from you buying this book, but it has been a valuable resource as I learn to navigate the world of special education.

    5. Take lots of notes and ask questions.

During the IEP meeting make sure you are taking notes. Things will be said and comments will be made that you might want to come back to. Jut down where you asked for a goal to be included. Write the comment from the physical therapist that was encouraging. Make sure you take notes of the teacher’s concern about your child’s safety in the playground. With your notes in hand you can go home and do some brainstorming as you process the conversations that took place.

Don’t hesitate to ask questions. If you are confused why your child is not getting more time in speech therapy, ask. If you still don’t understand, ask again. Be polite though, don’t point fingers, and make the questions about yourself. For example, you can say, “I am still puzzled, if we all agree speech is the greatest area of concern, why is my child only getting 40 minutes a week of speech therapy?”

So that’s it. Five simple tips that will hopefully help you feel better prepared for an IEP meeting.

Remember, you are an important and invaluable member of your child’s IEP team. Your know your child best and you are your child’s advocate. Be prepared, be professional, and be ready. 

And pray! Ask God to help you through the emotions of the IEP, to help you be a good advocate, and to help you build strong relationships with the rest of the team.

What has your IEP experience been like?

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An IEP, a 6 Year Old, and CP Connection #5

Nina is 6 years old! This will be the third birthday we celebrate with her but the first one where she is not recovering from some sort of surgery. Somehow, it feels like a huge milestone! There are plans of cake, presents, birthday songs, and a party.

Yesterday, we also had her IEP (Individualized Education Plan). We went through the goals she had for this year, and this incredible little girl has met all of her goals! We then talked about the goals that we will have for her next year. I know that IEP's can be a pain, but we have an incredible team to work with. As we sat around the table Andy and I were overwhelmed by the love and care that all the teachers, therapists, and support staff have for our daughter. We are incredibly blessed by these people.

On the first day of school, a little girl with Cerebral Palsy was pushed in her wheelchair. Today, the same little girl walks independently in her school. Andy and I took the wheelchair home and her walker is rarely used. Talk about courage and determination wrapped up in the body of a 6 year old little girl that won't let her disability stop her!

One of my concerns was weather we should have Nina repeat Kindergarten or if she was ready to move on to 1st grade. Nina spent the first 3 and a half years of her life in an orphanage, and there are areas in her development where it is clear she has not caught up with her typical peers (aside from her CP). However, talking to the teachers and going through Nina's progress, we are once more amazed at this little girl. She is ready to move on and she is not lagging behind her peers. She might not have a best friend at school, but I wonder if this is because her best friends really are her sisters.

There are times when being the parent of a kid with special needs might be hard, but then there are times when your child's accomplishments are so satisfying that you smile, from a place deep down, and you feel like you are floating in the sky. We are so proud of Nina, so proud of our little girl.
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It is once again time for our CP connection! Do you blog about Cerebral Palsy? Join us as we connect through our blogs!

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1. Grab the code from the button above and add it at the bottom of your post. Any post that relates to Cerebral Palsy will work. It can be a new post or a previously published post on your blog.

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That's it! Now go visit new friends and learn from their experience as they live life with CP.

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First Day of School!

Today was the first day of school for all 3 of my girls! Ellie and Nina started Kindergarten and Nichole went to school for the first time ever. Oh what a day!

Ellie did fantastic! We are very confident that she will do well. We waited until she was 6 years old and we see what a great choice it was for her. Her self-confidence is so evident even as she interacts with her classmates and teacher. Four students in Kindergarten were selected to have a locker this year (because the Kindergarten “hooks” were not enough. Sounds like Ellie made quite the impression on her summer school teacher because she was one of the 4. Ellie recognizes that it means she has to be responsible and set an example. We are so proud of her. She came home with so many fun stories and telling us all about her friends, her teacher, gym class, recess, lunchtime, snack time, and every other part of her day.

Nina did well. Probably better than we expected but not great. A few days ago, the teachers and therapists wanted to meet Nina and get things ready for her. We went to the school and we figured out the outlay of the classroom for her to use her walker, and how she would use the bathroom. For adaptive equipment, we figured what was the best chair for her to sit in at school, and what was the best chair for her when the kids have to sit on the floor. During that visit, I realized that although the goal was for her to use her walker most of the time, right now she cannot physically do that, so Nina will be using her wheelchair for going from A to B. For example, Nina uses her wheelchair from her classroom to her gym class, and then she gets down and uses the walker. Same to go to recess and art class.

When we dropped her off, she told Andy she wanted to go home. She did not cry, but we knew she was very nervous (she is not in the same classroom as Ellie; Nina has a special class where half the kids have IEPs). When we stopped by later in the day, we saw her PT and she was asking questions about some of Nina’s behaviors. As soon as we heard some of what she had been saying and doing we knew she was trying to cope with her new environment and she was probably very uncomfortable and nervous. However, when I talked to her teacher at the end of the day she said Nina seemed to have a great day but was very tired and could barely hold her weight from all the walking she did today. I can’t imagine what it would have been like if her wheelchair was not there! She did not have stories to tell when we picked them up other than she had some great friends that were big like mommy and daddy. I really hope she starts interacting with other kids and not just with her teachers and therapists. However, as Ellie was talking about her days, Nina would chime in an “I got to do that too!” or “I liked gym class too!” As she gets used to her new environment she will do better and better. One-step at a time. We know she will do great!

Nichole had a HARD morning. People with Down syndrome are creatures of habit (many of them) you do the same thing, the same way, every day. That is how Nichole likes it. So when there was going to be no show while drinking her milk and having crackers after breakfast, she was not happy at all! Getting dressed that early in the morning? She would have none of that! Taking her picture? No way! She was angry! Once we got to school, her teacher grabbed her hand and told her it was time to get her friends that were waiting in line. The handing over happened so fast that Nichole did not realize what was happening as she walked along with her teacher. By the time we came to pick her up, so was holding her teacher’s hand and waiting for us. She had a good day.

This is one of the few times that you will hear me talk about what I dislike about Down syndrome, because mostly, we are living and loving life with Down syndrome. However, it breaks my heart that Nichole cannot tell me what her day was like. It makes me sad that she does not have the words to tell me what happened at school, what her teacher said, or what the other kids in her class are like.

That said, Andy and I had a great late morning, early afternoon time with Nichole, just the 3 of us. Nichole loved it! She kept telling us she wanted to go “play.” She signed and signed she wanted to “play.” When I picked up the girls I asked one of Nina’s teachers (who is also Nichole’s teacher) if they had used the sign or words “play” a lot that day. The teacher said that most of what they do they call it play. So although Nichole cannot tell me she liked school, I do get it, she liked to “play” and she wanted more. That makes my mama’s heart feel good!

These are the pictures outside our house. See, Nichole would have nothing to do with the camera!

 Not even if Ellie was in the picture with her!

 Ellie, on the other hand, did not mind the pictures.

 And Nina wanted a picture with her big sister too.

The IEP Process: Part 2

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The IEP Process: Part 1 (Don't miss the previous post on IEPs)


The first thing I did when we were moving was contact the school district and ask to speak with the special education director. I was fearful of the process once more but felt better prepared.

I spent over an hour talking to the special education teacher and I was impressed that she had given me that much time since I was not even a resident of the school district yet. I had so many questions and she answered every single one of them. When I did not understand, she would back up to make sure I was following along. When I was writing notes for reference, she was making sure I had the correct information. In addition, when I called a second time with more questions, she still had time to help me navigate and understand the process fully and what our options could be and what evaluations would be needed.

Once we moved and I got the girls enrolled in school, the team came together and we began the process of an IEP and getting the girls ready for school.

The first thing they did was gather information about our family and the girls individually. There were parent interviews, questionnaires, and dialog. I was encouraged to share my fears, my expectations, and goals I had for each girl.

I was impressed with the evaluations and the therapists. These women could be working doing private therapy because they are that good! It was especially reassuring to find out that the physical therapist has an adult daughter with Down syndrome. Now how neat is that!

Once again, the special education teacher took time to talk through the different placement options for Nina. I asked more questions and she also asked me good questions that got me thinking. Tracy, you will never know how much I value and appreciate all the time that you were willing to give to our family. It made all the difference!

After evaluations were completed, an IEP meeting was set. I asked for the draft before the meeting so I could go through it and know what we would be talking about and discussing. They had those to me as promised.

I feel it is important to make a side note here. Some may wonder why it is so hard for parents to deal with IEPs, especially when they are meant to help their child. But this is why, (at least from my personal experience while reading Nichole's drafts). An IEP focuses on the child’s weaknesses and as a parent, it is overwhelming to see all of your child’s weaknesses wrapped up together with all the positives and strengths left out. Emotionally, it is tough, really tough. Having the draft before the meeting helps a lot! You can read it, deal with it, and remind yourself what the goal of an IEP is: to help your child in their weaknesses. Then you take a deep breath, remind yourself of what an incredible child you have, how many strengths they have, and you are ready to get the ball rolling and plan an IEP.

A good team will make sure to bring up the strengths of the child at a meeting, because they will know it is important for the parent to hear that too. Once again I will say, the reason it is not written as part of the IEP is because if it is a strength, help and intervention are not needed.

Before the IEP meeting I sat down and wrote down a list of goals I wanted for Nina and Nichole to work towards in the following year. I included speech, gross motor (physical therapy), fine motor (occupational therapy) social, emotional, and developmental goals. For Nichole, I also wanted to make sure it was written in her IEP that she is a rascal has a tendency to wander and therefore is imperative that she is not able to get out of her classroom or be outside without constant supervision.

The morning of the IEP meeting, we were ready with coffee, donuts, and feeling excited to talk about what the school year would look like for our girls. While the IEP meetings are quite formal, all the therapists and teachers were very gracious, friendly, and we were all working together to develop a plan that would help Nina and Nichole reach their fullest potential.

When we got to the goals, I was encouraged that the goals I had written were almost the same goals they had. That is what you call being on the same page!

Once we were done, we were excited not only about the school year, but about the team! I do not take this for granted. I am incredibly thankful for these wonderful people that loved our girls and saw their beauty and potential. Incredibly thankful.

And to all those parents out there, I highly recommend the book, "Wright’s Law: From Emotions to Advocacy." A must read if you ever have to sit through and IEP.

The IEP Process: Part 1

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IEP stands for Individualized Education Plan. If you are the parent of a child with special needs, you might have an emotional reaction just by thinking about your child's IEP.

While this is certainly not the case for all, many parents of children with special needs will tell you that the IEP process is one of the most difficult parts of their journey with special needs. Being so connected to the world of special needs, I have many friends that walk out of IEP meetings and break down in tears. Many feel that they have to fight with all their might in order to get their children the services that they need. It is not unusual to hear that parents bring trained advocates to these meetings, and in some instances, some parents do bring lawyers. I say this not because it happens often, but because it does happen, and it shows you what an emotionally charged process this can be for all involved.

Ultimately the goal should be to provide an individualized plan that will help the child develop to his/her full potential.

For this reason, I dreaded the day we would have to do an IEP for Nina and Nichole.

There are specific Special Education Laws that all school districts are to follow. Every child is to be placed in a LRE (Least Restrictive Environment) and follow the IDEA Law (Individuals with Disabilities Education Act).

Most children enrolled in an Early Intervention program automatically transition into the school system when they turn 3 and begin the process of having an IEP. This should have happened with Nichole, but it did not. We actually declined the IEP and I began "homeschooling" Nichole. Why? Because I did not feel like we were helped during the transition.

Nichole's birthday is in October and I had asked to do walk-in services until January, so that Nichole did not have to begin school in the middle of a school year. The team was supportive of this choice, but I was taken aback when presented with the option of Nichole being placed in the self-contained classroom. An option that we had agreed months before would not work for Nichole, as she would do better with typical developing children. I asked for the reason behind the change and the answer was simply classroom size. One of the team members mentioned Nichole would be a great role model for the children it that class. I don't think so. Nichole has Down syndrome, she is delayed, and she would be placed somewhere where she would be the role model? It made no sense to me at all. Since we knew we would be moving, we did not "fight" and declined services.

Now, I want to stress here, that this is how I perceived things. It is very possible that I did not understand the process or the options we had. It could have simply been my lack of understanding or not knowing which questions to ask. After all, I do not have a degree in special education. However, nobody took the time to clearly explain the process to me. There were times where I stated I did not understand something (per what I knew about the IDEA and LRE law) and I was not given answers or a clear direction. I felt quite helpless, and I did not feel like there was a “team” working on what was best for Nichole. It was discouraging, I felt defeated, I think they saw that, yet there was no offer to sit down so we could talk in detail about the process.

Then there was Nina. She was almost 4 when we brought her home. We knew she needed services. Yet, somehow, she did not qualify for services in our school district. Again, maybe there was a misunderstanding. It is possible because I know there were many parents that were pleased with that school district. Personally, I really liked all the people we worked with; I thought we had a great professional relationship. I am just not sure what happened.

I learned a lot from this experience. I needed to ask lots of questions, I needed to keep pushing and making sure that I knew what was going on. I needed to communicate that what was a simple process of transitioning and finding appropriate placement to them was not that simple for me. I allowed myself to be intimidated and frustrated. In short, I needed to be a better advocate. I could sit here and point the finger at them, but quite honestly on my side, I dropped the ball, so I was not going to allow that to happen again.

The IEP Process: Part 2

A little Bit of This and a Little Bit of That

August is already here and I am scratching my head trying to figure out if July went by too fast, or if it lasted forever because a lot of things happened last month.

July had Ellie loving and enjoying summer school. She took a "Getting Ready for Kindergarten" class. For 4 weeks Ellie spent her mornings in school, and she has already decided that she will like recess and art most of all. Her teacher was really nice and said Ellie would do fantastic in school. In hindsight, we should have had Nina in summer school as well, but that post will come later, as there is much to share about what the plan for Nina will be once school starts.

One of the nice things about our new town, is that it is close enough to big cities. And cities that people like to visit (like Chicago). It has been great to see friends and family stop by because we are "on their way" to their final destinations. It was so fun to see our friends, the Otts, and spend a day with them. We love our new town and we love the people here, but we really miss our friends from Iowa . We keep praying that God brings some of them here!




Our family spent the 4th of July weekend with the Loraine family. If you have read this blog before, you know that Nina and Oksana were best friends at their orphanage. Their friendship has expanded towards our families and we now consider the Loraines dear friends ours. You know how we pray about God people bringing to come and join us here? Loraines are at the top of the list. So Larry and Erin, we are patiently waiting for you!

And in case you did not get to see the video of Nina and Oksana's reunion, here it is!

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

During our visit with the Loraine's, we got to see some other friends from our Down syndrome family. It was a fun, meaningful, and full week!

When we got home from St. Louis, the Wetmore clan (minus working dad) came to see us. I got to meet Thom and Tammy while we were adopting our daughter's in Ukraine. The first time we mt we were sharing our stories of how we were called to adopt children with special needs and we really had a great heart connection.

Both, Tammy and I were stuck in Ukraine for many days and we chatted as we waited. It was nice to know that we were not going crazy and that being an emotional mess in the midst of adoption, being alone in a foreign country without our husbands, was not a sign of insanity.

It was wonderful to finally meet all the Wetmore kids as they have such a special place in my heart. I did ask Tammy what were the chances she would move "back home" since she is from around this area, but I think they like their sunny Florida weather.

Next, my family came to visit and we had Ellie's early birthday celebration. It was a lot of fun and it was nice to have my mom, stepdad, and sisters see our new place. I really do wish we lived closer to family. Now that we are farther away, it makes me sad to think we might not see each other as often. Being from Mexico, I have great memories of being at my grandparents house every week, of my aunt, who I called "Mama Pata" and how close we were. I wish my girls could grow up having the same. Yet, when we lived in Iowa we created family. As we settle, God will provide family for us here as well.
The day my family left, Andy's sister and her family came to spend a couple of days with us. The time went by too fast.

In that time, the school district stepped it up and we got evaluations done for Nina and Nichole. They were evaluated by a Physical Therapist, Occupational Therapist, Speech pathologist, and Special Education Teacher. And remember, I have 2 kids that needed evals, so that is a lot! And I was impressed by the caliber of the school therapists.

After only a week, we had IEP meetings, and they agreed to have them at my home since it was the easiest for our family. I had written goals for both girls and it was pretty sweet how they were almost identical to goals they had written for my girls.

Oh there is so much to share about their IEP's. For now I will say that I am so excited!

Oh, and I should mention I had the drafts the day before :)

Oh, and one more thing, the Physical Therapist has a daughter with Down syndrome, now how sweet is that!     Photo credit

We ended our July going to northern Minnesota to the Stumbo family Reunion. It was wonderful to see family and it makes me sad (once again) that some only see once a year. So I tried to do some more recruiting with 2 of Andy's cousins. Surely they would love our new town!

The girls spent time playing with their cousins at the beach. One of the highlights was the See-Weed Monster. Which in a previous year scared all the children. However, this year he had candy, and the girls knew that it was only grandpa pretending. Actually, I know Ellie was pretty proud that it was her grandpa who was covered by those slimy weeds.

Now throw in between all these happenings Physical Therapy for Nina 3 times a week. A Private Speech evaluation for Nichole, private Physical therapy evaluation for Nichole, and a couple of actual therapies for her (since it is summer and I do want her to get some services until school starts), and you realize why I am scratching my head in confusion. Did all this really happen last month? Or did time stop so we could fit this all in? I will never know, but all in all, it was good!

And now you know why there were only a few posts in July.

Becoming Your Child's Advocate

Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute. Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy.

Proverbs 31:8-9

When Nichole was born with Down syndrome I began to learn as much as I could about her condition. I felt the need to become an expert and help educate people. I was passionate and vocal...really vocal. I had become her advocate, but was I an effective advocate? This is a thought I have been processing lately, because in order to see positive results, I need to be an effective advocate.

You see, when Nichole was a baby, I was learning how to be the mom of a child with special needs. Out of my great love for her, I wanted others to see her just the way I saw her. I wanted people to understand Down syndrome and see the beauty I saw.

Looking back, I believe that sometimes my "all-out" ways stunted me from being an effective advocate and perhaps even approachable. I know I spent energy focusing on weather people used People First Language, or if they used the correct terminology or up to date information. I did not expect people to be at the same level of awareness I was, but I think maybe I did expect them to arrive to the place where I was once I had explained the ins and outs of Down syndrome. I wonder how many people felt overwhelmed by me.

I was learning to do life with Nichole, and the many layers of my life touched by Down syndrome. She is only 3 years old, and I still have a lot to learn. However, Down syndrome is so common for me, and for our family, that I believe I can look more objectively at what an effective advocate is. After all, I now have 2 girls to advocate for (actually, make that 3, Ellie needs her mama to advocate for her at times)

Why am I thinking about this right now? I just got the book "From Emotions to Advocacy" and I am learning about being an advocate in the school system. This book, however, has challenged me in the "personal level" advocacy, and the many times that I have allowed my emotions to take over. Effective advocacy happens when emotions are under control, it is hard to advocate when you are angry, or hurt by a comment or an action.

But being Nichole's and Nina's advocate means that I get to practice Proverbs 31:8-9. I get to speak up for Nichole and for Nina, for their rights, and for their needs. Why? Because I want to see Nichole and Nina's lives changed, I want them to thrive! Regardless of their disabilities, they have great potential, they have gifts and talents to contribute to those around them.

Looking forward to an IEP...yeah right!

Neither Nina nor Nichole have IEP's...yet. But I have yet to hear any parent say to me that they love IEP's. More often than not, this is what I get.

IEP. Individualized Education Plan. The joys of sending your not typical child to school.

My friend Renee (who was adopting at the same time we were!) has blogged quite a bit about IEP's lately, and I have enjoyed reading through those posts, trying to make mental notes as I know this will be us in 6 months for Nichole, and maybe even less for Nina. I do love some of the acronyms that she has shared that have been recently found around the blog world from some frustrated parents.

IEP - Incredibly Excruciating Pain!!!
IEP - I Exited Pissed-off!
IEP - Irritating Exclusion Program
IEP - Intellectuals Expelling Poop

My favorite one is "Informed and Educated Parent."

Last September I attended a conference called "Parents as Presenters." One of the presenters gave his talk intended to be shared at the beginning of an IEP meeting. I remember thinking what a powerful thing to do before everyone starts talking about your child and focusing on all they cannot do, all they will need help with, and what their limitations are.

A friend and I joked and said that anyone working with children with special needs (yes, anyone!) should first be required to parent a child with special needs for at least three months or so, preferably a year, so that they really get to know the child and fall in love. It makes a big difference. As a parent, you know who is doing their job, and who really gets it. We don't see it with IEP's, but we do see it when you get the "evaluations" for your child, or even the way someone talks about your child.

Anyway, this was meant to be more of a funny, light post, so I will leave you with this last cartoon.