My Favorite Posts of 2011

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Amazing how fast a year goes by, but then you look back and realize that much has happened. I would describe 2011 as a year of transition. It started with great discouragement as we were unsure what was next for our family (a process that had begun since September of 2010). In March we candidated at a church (my husband is a pastor, in case you didn't know) and we accepted the new position. Andy finished as the associate pastor in our former church in April, and a few days later Nina was having major spinal surgery. We moved in late May and the girls began school (all of them) in September. Throw in there trips, family gatherings, my sister's wedding, life and oh boy...that was a lot in such little time!

In light of that, I thought I would share my favorite posts from the year. You can click on the title and it will take you to the post.

January

Nina's Anniversary: This was after one year of Nina being home.

February

Becoming Your Child's Advocate: I still have much to learn about how to be an effective advocate for my girls, but more and more I learn how to do it appropriately and with good results, keeping the passion and emotion under control.

She Is Not a Baby, Treat Her Like a Big Girl: I have much to learn about Cerebral Palsy, but many times I am Nina's greatest challenge to overcome as I do too much for her.

Turning 30: What else can I say, my reflections on a "milestone" age.

March

Why Adopt a Child With Cerebral Palsy: Self explanatory

A Season of Lent: This is where I share my heart about wanting to live my life to honor God. it is not about Lent, but rather this relationship I have with my Savior, and how much more I want to know Him.

Down Syndrome Has Changed Me: This is a personal letter I wrote to my daughter Nichole.

What Did He Say?: Before her surgery, Nina took a class at the hospital to know what to expect. In this class she was given a stethoscope to play with and she listened intently. Nina shared with us the doctor and me what she had heard, her message from Jesus.

April

All of April is about Nina's Cerebral Palsy, her surgery, recovery, and such!

May

Adventures in Moving: Moving with 3 girls ages 5 and under, 2 of them with special needs, was quite the adventure!

June

The Same Team: One of my very favorites! It was a rejected article for a magazine but I still wanted to share it. it is about marriage and working together when you have little kids.

July

Nina's Best Friend: We got to meet Nina's bets friend from the orphanage, Oksana, and her family. They have become such dear friends!

August

We were transitioning in the new place.

Septemeber

The Brodys In This World: The story of a young man with Cerebral Palsy from our church.

Brody's Light: A touching follow up story to my first post about Brody and how he is sharing God's word.

Down Syndrome and Abortion: An honest post where I speak to the women that have had an abortion, and those considering one based on a diagnosis on Down syndrome. Possibly this post has been shared and read more than any other post or article I have ever written.

Could I Do More?: A common mothering question, but when you have children with special needs, this is an even greater "fear."

October

Road Marker 321: If you only read one post, read this one. I spent the month of October and most of November sharing about our journey as our daughter was born with Down syndrome. This is the first of 24 posts, the "prologue." And the most intimate piece of writing I have ever written.

November

Two Years Ago, Why We Adopted: Top 10 reasons why we adopted.

This Man: The love, respect, and admiration I have for my husband.

Why Moms Need Friends: Top 10 reasons why moms need friends.

December

Christmas, Presents, Lights, and All That Matters: Self-explanatory in top 10 style.

A Hope and a Future: What Nina's future holds because she has a family and is an orphan no more.

First Steps Take Courage: contrasting my 3 girls and what their first steps defined.

Live With Us Forever?: My take on the possibility of having my child with Down syndrome live with me forever.

Okay, I know that you won't click on every single link, but, did you have a favorite post here?

Also, do you have a  favorite post from your blog? Share it with me so I can stop by and visit for a while!

Down Syndrome and Abortion

It is estimated that 90-94% of women who receive a prenatal diagnosis of Down syndrome have an abortion.


90-94%

The number is staggering.

But I will not point my finger at the women who have given their babies back to God without ever meeting them. Why? Because I understand. I know how they feel. Although abortion was never an option for us, I still wrestled with the exact same feelings these women had. I cried bitterly wondering why we had been given a “broken” baby. I didn’t want Nichole. Deep inside I wanted her to die. Can you believe that? I wanted my baby to die because I was so scared.

I was so scared.

So scared.

I had more questions than I had answers, and everywhere I looked Down syndrome seemed like a life sentence for my daughter…and for me.

When you are pregnant, and your baby has a possibility of having Down syndrome, doctors respond. Their response is not a welcoming response. They do not offer up to date information, or to connect you with other parents that have children with Down syndrome. They do not even talk about Down syndrome beyond their medical experience. No. What they talk about are more tests. They talk about a “choice,” and they talk about making that choice now! In addition, when they talk about Down syndrome and how it will affect your baby all we hear is a doomed medical condition in which our children will suffer greatly, because so many things could go wrong.

Before I had Nichole, I was ignorant about what Down syndrome meant. All I knew was a stereotype, and the stereotype I knew threatened my family, my unborn baby, and me. Professionals, somehow, seemed to confirm these fears.

Nichole’s birth is stained by the many tears and emotional distress I had over her diagnosis. That small extra chromosome had enough power to knock me down multiple times a day. I believed I was not qualified to be the mother of a child with special needs. I wondered, in my fear, if I would ever be able to love Nichole.

But love her is exactly what I did.

The fear, the questions, and the anxiety were moved to the side. I held a baby in my arms. A round faced, soft skinned, button nosed, bright-eyed face that captivated me. It was as if she had power over my heart. Love, joy, and peace became evident in my life; their aroma filled me with a strength I never knew was in me. She challenged me in the things I held as important, as valuable in life. Nichole transformed me.

Nichole is so much more than her medical diagnosis. She is so much more than any limitations she might have because of Down syndrome. She is an individual, with unique gifts, talents, and abilities. Her life has meaning, it is valuable, and it is hers.

I wish I knew then what I know now.

A sentiment that resonates with most parents of children with Down syndrome.

I wish I knew then what I know now.

Because what, exactly, determines the value of a life? The value of a child, any child?

Should the value of a child’s life be reduced to their academic performance? Then why is the life of a child with Down syndrome held to this standard?

Should the value of a child’s life be reduced to their medical conditions? Then why is the life of a child with Down syndrome held to this standard?

Should the value of a person’s life be reduced to the job they will have? Then why is the value of a person with Down syndrome held to this standard?

What makes our hearts beat? To love and be loved…unconditionally. To celebrate life. To experience joy in everyday moments. To have a heart that overflows with thankfulness. Isn’t this what we all long to experience in life? Wouldn’t the challenges be worth the rewards if we discovered that we had loved to our fullest, that we had been given unconditional love, and that we had celebrated life?

90-94%

Nevertheless, there is that 6-10% that wants you to know something about having a child with Down syndrome.

You will experience shades of color that you never knew were possible. Your heart will expand a thousand times over .Your tears and fears will be replaced with gratitude for the child you have. There will be so much love.

And there are more statistics.

If you want to adopt a child with Down syndrome in the United States there is a waiting list. A long waiting list. For every child in the United States born with Down syndrome that is given up for adoption, there are instances where 300 families have stepped forward wanting to adopt that child!

Each year hundreds of children with Down syndrome are adopted internationally. Hundreds!

Why? Because some families have discovered what it is like to live life every day, every single day with someone who has Down syndrome. And that life is beautiful. That life is rich. That life has been an unexpected gift.

You don’t have to be one of the 90-94%

You can be one of those who discover these precious mysteries in life.

We are living and loving life with Down syndrome.

(Note: Not all medical professionals approach a diagnosis of Down syndrome in a negative way. There are some who offer expectant parents resources and connections before assuming the pregnancy will be terminated)


If you want to know more about our journey and diagnosis with Down syndrome, you can read about Finding Nichole. An article I wrote for Thriving Families magazine where I share about becoming the parent of a child with special needs.

Statistics on Down syndrome

Before talking statistics, I want to share some pictures of Nichole with your from Wednesday. We went to a Pumpkin Patch and tried to stay warm.

By the end of the day, Nichole was exhausted and read for a car ride so she could snooze.
Here she is in the stroller, tired, and pretty bundled up.

And here is Ellie. She had fun with her friend Brooklyn.

She did not want to bring a pumpkin home though.

Statistics on Down syndrome

A few people asked about statistics, so I will try to answer as best as I can. I actually spent some time yesterday looking at books and different websites. I am hoping that some of my friends (those dear friends that I have met thanks to Nichole) will read this post and maybe add some of their comments with the information that they have. Remember that these are estimated numbers, there are no statistics that are 100% accurate because of abortion rates. Also, these are numbers for the United States (I will see if I can find anything about Mexico.)

• 1/733 babies are born with Down syndrome
• 5, 000 babies are born every year with Down syndrome
• 9/10 women that are given a pre-natal diagnosis of Down syndrome chose to have an abortion! (This is a problem. Medical professionals deliver the news as a death sentence and almost always offer the option of abortion before explaining to parents what it is, or before connecting the expecting parents with a family that has a child with Down syndrome. It is sad to know these expecting parents are being cheated of a precious baby by withholding the truth and information about what Down syndrome is day-to-day. can you tell I am passionate about this!)
• It is believed that if there was no abortion at all, the incidence of having a child would be somewhere between 1/150 or 1/100, which is the same as having twins. (By no abortion I mean, not only related to Down syndrome, but abortion in general)
• Most babies with Down syndrome are born to parents that were NOT given a pre-natal diagnosis
• 80% of babies with Down syndrome are born to women under the age of 35
• Currently there are more than 400,000 people living in the US with Down syndrome
• More than 50% of all miscarriages are caused by a genetic abnormality (I wonder how many of those were little babies with Down syndrome!)
• Once a woman has a baby with Down syndrome, her chances of having another child with Down syndrome is... 1% (yes, only one percent, the same as having twins, unless it is Translocation Down syndrome)

If you are looking specifically for statistics on Down syndrome and abortion, you want to read THIS POST.