Becoming Your Child's Advocate

Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute. Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy.

Proverbs 31:8-9

When Nichole was born with Down syndrome I began to learn as much as I could about her condition. I felt the need to become an expert and help educate people. I was passionate and vocal...really vocal. I had become her advocate, but was I an effective advocate? This is a thought I have been processing lately, because in order to see positive results, I need to be an effective advocate.

You see, when Nichole was a baby, I was learning how to be the mom of a child with special needs. Out of my great love for her, I wanted others to see her just the way I saw her. I wanted people to understand Down syndrome and see the beauty I saw.

Looking back, I believe that sometimes my "all-out" ways stunted me from being an effective advocate and perhaps even approachable. I know I spent energy focusing on weather people used People First Language, or if they used the correct terminology or up to date information. I did not expect people to be at the same level of awareness I was, but I think maybe I did expect them to arrive to the place where I was once I had explained the ins and outs of Down syndrome. I wonder how many people felt overwhelmed by me.

I was learning to do life with Nichole, and the many layers of my life touched by Down syndrome. She is only 3 years old, and I still have a lot to learn. However, Down syndrome is so common for me, and for our family, that I believe I can look more objectively at what an effective advocate is. After all, I now have 2 girls to advocate for (actually, make that 3, Ellie needs her mama to advocate for her at times)

Why am I thinking about this right now? I just got the book "From Emotions to Advocacy" and I am learning about being an advocate in the school system. This book, however, has challenged me in the "personal level" advocacy, and the many times that I have allowed my emotions to take over. Effective advocacy happens when emotions are under control, it is hard to advocate when you are angry, or hurt by a comment or an action.

But being Nichole's and Nina's advocate means that I get to practice Proverbs 31:8-9. I get to speak up for Nichole and for Nina, for their rights, and for their needs. Why? Because I want to see Nichole and Nina's lives changed, I want them to thrive! Regardless of their disabilities, they have great potential, they have gifts and talents to contribute to those around them.

Winner of "The Charlatan's Boy"

The Charlatan's Boy


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The winner is Monique, she was the second person to leave a comment! Monique, be on the lookout for an e-mail from me so I can send you the book!

Thank you all for leaving your favorite books. It gives me more ideas of what I can read next.

Some of my favorite books are:

Peace Like a River by Leif Enger

The Book Thief by Markus Zusak

The Giver by Lois Lowry

Harry Potter series by JK. Rowlings





Edited to add: Sorry friends, I could not figure out how to get the random.org button to stay fixed with the results! So I just had to copy the results from the button. I did not want this to be unfair to Monique since she won!

Nichole gets a First haircut too!

Everyone in our family has a cold right now. For most of us it means just a little runny nose. For Nichole, it means a runny nose and her eyes get "funky" like Ellie likes to say. The goober mess her runny nose made on her hair, along with her sucking on it had me wanting to get it cut for a while. Since we got Nina's hair cut (and I got one myself) I must have been in the  new do mood.

This morning I decided that I could cut her hair if she was very still (since she has little hair). She really did sit still. I figured I would be cutting the curls off (which I was sad, but I had to cut her hair at some point in her life! Well, I am happy to say that the curls are still there (more like big waves) however, I am not sure that I did such a  great job because I only know to cut straight hair! Good thing is that hair grows!

So here are some pictures, and Nichole did not want any pictures taken! So this is the best I could do!

Nina had her First Real Haircut!

Today Nina got to have her first real haircut! When she was at the orphanage, she got her hair chopped pretty often. I don't know if she ever got to have hair cover her ears. I am also not sure who decided on the style or length. My guess is that whoever did it was not a hairdresser, and it was just a lot easier to cut the kid's hair that have to worry about washing or brushing very often.

We have been growing out Nina's hair for a year! Her hair has not grown very fast, and it was beginning to look very stringy and unhealthy, but we finally had some length to work with. So today, Nina got her first real haircut. And we assured her, that getting her hair cut did not mean she would look like a boy, and it would be really cute.

She was wiggly, but our hair dresser is fantastic!

First stop...bangs! Nina has struggled to gain weight, and her body does not seem to absorb nutrients very well. A few months ago we began to give the girls Juice Plus+ and I feel like it has made a difference. We finally began to see baby hair growing in places where her hair had been scarce. Her forehead had so many baby hairs that it made sense to get bangs, and I thought she would look so cute with bangs. I do love them, and Ellie thought they were the best part of Nina's haircut.

Isn't it cute? We got rid of all the uneven layers, and we were able to match the line where she had cut her hair a while back.

 Okay Nina, now smile at the camera!

 She was more willing to smile once we got home and she got her glasses on. If you pay close attention, you can see that she got her bifocal lenses. I think she is adjusting to those pretty well.

And don't forget to enter to win a free book!

Potty Training...Mommy

Nichole is doing really well with potty training. No, really, she is. I think the one that is having a hard time with this is...me! I think she is more ready than I am to work hard at this, so I need to deal with the fact that we are going to be cleaning up accidents here for a while.

Nichole had been telling us when she had to go potty right before we began this process. This is why we knew she was ready to begin. I don't know if she was telling us as she felt it come, before, or right after. We simply just changed her diaper. Number 2 was different (because it takes her a long time to get it out, one advantage of low muscle tone I suppose) so I was getting her to go in the toilet if I got to her in time.

We began this process, I just sat her on the potty when I changed her diaper. Almost every time she would go, so we knew she knew that when you sit on the potty, you tinkle. However, her diaper was still wet between changes.

Sometimes, if she wets her diaper, she has figured out how to take it off. She will throw it away on her own and then let's me know "potty." So I think she is definitely feeling the wet diaper and not liking it. This led me to believe the "Cool alert" diapers would be a good idea. You know, those diapers that are supposed to get really cold when you go potty to increase the sensation. They worked with Ellie for a couple of weeks.

We tried it today...and it did not even face her! So we can scratch that idea!

I then let her go without a diaper, which has never worked in the past. She came to me and said "potty" I asked her if she wanted to go to Melmo, and she ran straight to Melmo. I then noticed that her night shirt was wet. I thought she had just told me that she had gone potty already. What is my surprise but to see that Melmo had some potty in it! Nichole had to go potty, she sat on Melmo, and she just did not know how to pull her pajamas up. Now isn't that exciting!

I though to myself, "She is getting this, and the no diaper idea is working!"

Well, you get some, and you miss some I suppose. There was a nice wet spot in the middle of the room later on, and she did not even acknowledge the fact that she had an accident. Oh well. We are still going to do this!

And this mommy is ready to potty train a little rascal!

Book Review and Giveaway- The Charlatan's Boy

A Waterbrook, Multnomah Publishing Group Book

The Charlatan's Boy

by

Jonathan Rogers

Grady has no last name, he does not know where he came from and he has no mama and no pa. All he has is Floyd, a huckster who is a liar and a fraud. For as long as Grady can remember, he has been traveling with Floyd all over Corenwald, putting on a Feechie act where he gets to be "The Wild Man of the Feechiefen Swamp!" Grady, having nothing to hold on to, comes to believe this character to be his true identity. He is a he-feechie, alive and in the flesh. But the people of Corenwald no longer believe in Feechies  and Floyd and Grady must find new trades. Grady's heart is broken as he is told he is not a real Feechie, but only the Ugliest Boy in the world. An idea that births a new act, but when another boy is found to be uglier than Grady, a new trade most be found, and Floyd and Grady find themselves in the Phrenologist trade. Yet, Grady cannot forget the old days.  Neither can Floyd forget the money they made with the Feechie act. Together, Floyd and Grady set to create another Great Feechie Scare. Floyd, merely using the ugly boy for his profit, while Grady longs to relieve the days where he had an identity, and he knew who he was.

I  enjoyed this book. From the beginning, my heart was drawn to Grady. He longs to know who he is and where he came from. As an adoptive mother, Grady's heart speaks to me. He wants to be loved, he wants to know where he comes from, who he is, and wishing that he had a friend, someone who cared for him. Grady's likable character is well established from the beginning, and his personality and voice are consistent and strong throughout the book.

Floyd and Grady's adventures as they travel from town to town putting on their Fechie act, along with the other various performances, are fun and entertaining. These are sprinkled with Grady's longings of love and friendship, and you get a good, light hearted read.

While it was not a page turner, I recommend this as a fun read.

If you want to read the first few chapters, you can visit the Waterbrook Multnomah webiste. There you can purchase the book if you get hooked!

You can also read chapter 1 and 2 here.

Do you want this book?

Well, here is the deal, Stumbo Family Story is having a giveaway!

This is how you can enter. Just leave me a comment and tell what your favorite fiction book is. For an additional chance to win, go to my book review on the Multnomah website and rank my review, then come back here and leave a second comment.
Also remember to leave your contact infromation so I can contact you if you win!

This entry will be open until January 31 at midnight, then I will use a random generator to select the winner!
(US residents only)


If you don't win, here are a couple other places places where you can buy the book: amazon or Christian books. It is also available as an e-book.
I recieved this book for free from Waterbrook Multnomah Publising Group  for my review.

International Day of Acceptance

3E Love

Embrace Diversity. Educate Your Community. Empower Each Other. Love Life

This is what 3E says about their symbol.

"It is a symbol of society accepting people with disabilities as equals and a symbol that people with disabilities accept their challenges and even embrace them. By replacing the wheel with a heart, the stigma of the wheelchair is also removed, and it can be a symbol for people with any disability or impairment. It represents the person, not society's perception of their lack in abilities.

The symbol is an attitude and a lifestyle. It's accepting one's abilities and rallying around that diversity and turning it into strength. It's loving and living life to the fullest no matter who you are and what you look like, what you can or cannot do."


I have two children with special needs. One with Down syndrome and one with Cerebral Palsy. I want them to be accepted by society, I want them to thrive in the areas where they are gifted and talented. I know that they will be contributing members to society if given a chance.

Today, as we celebrate International Day of Acceptance, let's make a choice to see those with disabilities not as individuals with limitations, but rather as individuals full of potential.

These individuals don't live disabled...they live!

Our girls live life to the fullest, and what a joy it is to watch.