tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18580914.post5462267776029245285..comments2023-10-08T07:43:51.327-05:00Comments on These Broken Vases | Finding Beauty in Unexpected Places: Down Syndrome and AbortionAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09611345201573528750noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18580914.post-82584745780526496662011-12-05T12:34:45.630-06:002011-12-05T12:34:45.630-06:00What a wonderful article! Several times a week I w...What a wonderful article! Several times a week I walk out of a store, or public place and ask myself, "Who are these 90+%?? Where are they??" I ask it because everywhere I go with my little girls (ages 3, 3 & 2, all with Ds - adopted from Ukraine with the help of Reece's Rainbow ;) they are met with smiles, sweet comments and downright adoration. From men and women. It makes it hard to get my shopping done, honestly. I'm not saying the 90+% aren't out there, it just seems like the vast majority of people who see my daughters, fall in love with them. And I admit, when I see a pregnant woman, I go out of my way to make sure and walk down her grocery aisle with the girls ;)I want the whole world to see what life with a child with Down syndrome is really like. If it were so scary, would I have THREE?? ;) They are the light of our life!! That being said, I never had a prenatal dx of Ds, so I really appreciate your candor in describing your personal experience, your fears and grief. Not having been in your shoes, I'm afraid I may not have been as understanding or compassionate as I should. I chose to parent children with Down syndrome, and didn't honestly understand how a mom could be sad about it. I appreciate the much-needed perspective.Sherry Whitehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00103099940473998389noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18580914.post-40226872612881923552011-09-23T20:01:36.407-05:002011-09-23T20:01:36.407-05:00that is all so correct...
my youngest has DS and t...that is all so correct...<br />my youngest has DS and the info we were given was like from 1985 or something...all never never never! Ugh...<br />sometimes the guilt I feel is overwhelming, because we almost didn't have her, but now we're part of the 10% and I hope that new moms are encouraged by Brooke..Not a Perfect Momhttp://www.notaperfectmomsblog.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18580914.post-88711681360890253252011-09-23T09:17:04.948-05:002011-09-23T09:17:04.948-05:00Madi, thank you for sharing about your sister and ...Madi, thank you for sharing about your sister and her expreince. These are the stories that need to be shared. Your sister does sound incredible and sounds like her daughter has given her a passion and determination that make other people take note. Incredible what our children can do in us.<br />And those doctors who really take time to help moms are rare, but precious jewels! They sure make a difference!Ellen Stumbohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02883373231740515881noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18580914.post-88489839280102783972011-09-23T08:07:21.802-05:002011-09-23T08:07:21.802-05:00I don't know what else to say other than, this...I don't know what else to say other than, this was beautiful to read!JChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16040699928110444013noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18580914.post-91177010120671659032011-09-23T05:55:56.813-05:002011-09-23T05:55:56.813-05:00I'm glad you added the bit at the end, noting ...I'm glad you added the bit at the end, noting that not all physicians approach DS negatively. That's exactly what I was going to comment about! :-)<br /><br />My sister received a prenatal diagnosis of DS and she was very set on the idea of terminating the pregnancy. <br />Her physician really encouraged her to do some additional research before terminating.<br /><br />He provided her with the phone numbers of two patients, both of whom have children with DS. They volunteered to talk to women about birthing and parenting a child with DS. <br /><br />My sister was very much in favor of terminating the pregnancy -- primarily due to fear and self-doubt in her ability to parent a child with DS -- but she felt it was appropriate to investigate further, even if it was only to justify things in her own mind, so she could say, 'I investigated my options.'<br /><br />But those other moms changed her life. She spoke with these mothers, she even met one mom and her daughter in person. She realized that her fear and self-doubts were not unique; she was very encouraged when she found out that these other parents experienced the same thing. Exactly as you've described here, Ellen.<br /><br />My sister now volunteers as a mentor to other women who receive a prenatal DS diagnosis. She has discovered that many, many OBGYNs were willing to give her card to expecting mothers. In fact, many have said "I wish I had found you sooner!"<br /><br />She is an incredible mentor to expecting mothers. I'm so, so proud to call her my sister. <br />She's honest and frank. She does not sugarcoat things. Nor does she encourage mothers to make a particular decision. She simply provides information about her own experiences as a mother of a child with DS.<br /><br />If I could say one thing, it would be... If you're a mother of a child with Down Syndrome, consider helping other moms who receive a prenatal diagnosis. <br /><br />Make up some business cards and a letter, explaining that you're available to share your experience with other mothers who learn their baby has DS. Bring a few cards and a letter to local OBGYN offices. <br /><br />My sister also included her website address on her business cards. She runs a website, where she published her story, facts about DS, and she publishes answers to reader questions. <br /><br />Why do all this? My sister fully intended to terminate her pregnancy. She fully realizes that she nearly missed out on her beloved daughter's life. She nearly missed out. It was so close. <br />She's so thankful that another mom was willing to take the time to share her experiences, so now she wants to do the same to show the universe how thankful she is for her daughter's existence. <br />I'm so proud of her. :-)<br />-MadiAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18580914.post-55767278460159540722011-09-22T23:26:47.640-05:002011-09-22T23:26:47.640-05:00I love this post! I feel the same exact way and my...I love this post! I feel the same exact way and my little one with DS is only 6 months! She has changed me forever, and we couldn't imagine life any other way! I received a prenatal diagnosis with her last November on a Monday. By the end of the week, I received Thriving Families magazine with your article in there on adoption. After reading about your family in there and having a child with DS, I knew I wasn't alone. The article came at the right time! Thank you for your inspiration!<br />HeatherSweetP'shttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14198294633817741920noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18580914.post-11464237616021073072011-09-22T21:47:38.220-05:002011-09-22T21:47:38.220-05:00Marnie, some things have changed, but some have no...Marnie, some things have changed, but some have not. What is different is that as parents we feel empowered. If a doctor comes and tells me Nichole "will never" I can confidently challenge those misconceptions that unfortunately are still prevalent in the medical community. More and more as parents we are giving a voice to our children, and there are young adults now that are able to be a voice for themselves.<br /><br />What is sad is that many doctors still present a diagnosis of DS as something that needs be be "taken care of." I know of many women who have terminated their pregnancies only to regret it and grieve for a baby that was taken without ever givena chance to find out what life would have been like.<br /><br />But I think we are being heard. And we support one another. The support in the Down syndrome community is incredible. There are no words to describe it. We are close.Ellen Stumbohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02883373231740515881noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18580914.post-61357687218438282242011-09-22T21:47:14.477-05:002011-09-22T21:47:14.477-05:00This was beautiful and your daughter is as well. T...This was beautiful and your daughter is as well. Thank you for sharing this with the worldTwilson9608https://www.blogger.com/profile/05245911547204280399noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18580914.post-62180542439757672312011-09-22T21:30:59.952-05:002011-09-22T21:30:59.952-05:00Ellen, you are such a wonderful voice for all the ...Ellen, you are such a wonderful voice for all the children in the world with Down Syndrome (and other special needs). A friend told me recently that she had learned as an adult that her mother had terminated a pregnancy due to a Down Syndrome diagnosis. Do you think the statistics have improved at all since the 1970s? Are prospective parents and their doctors any more educated now than they were then?Marnie Khttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13241962543917686722noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18580914.post-52339481220888728992011-09-22T20:56:21.032-05:002011-09-22T20:56:21.032-05:00My word, Ellen. This is an amazing piece of writin...My word, Ellen. This is an amazing piece of writing. I am going to go plaster it all over the internet now!!!<br /><br />I am so grateful to know you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18580914.post-85817011694998517512011-09-22T20:22:16.113-05:002011-09-22T20:22:16.113-05:00I have seldom seen this awful truth put so gracefu...I have seldom seen this awful truth put so gracefully and charitably. I am glad we found each other on Facebook. I am sharing this masterpiece!Leticiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08170455690163831806noreply@blogger.com